The humongous ball of tangled stress that is my wedding is unwinding.

Granted, there are still a few knots, but that’s normal wedding-stress, I think.

The wedding will take place at Courtyard Villa. After many exchanged emails and phone calls, we found where the ‘extra’ money we were being charged was coming from: kitchen labor.

The proprietor of Courtyard assured as that it was policy, but as it was not defined clearly to us from the beginning, he removed that charge. Still, despite that, Ted and I were still ready to move the wedding to his church. We even spoke to his minister for the premarriage counciling session that is required. All we were really waiting on was to see when we would be allowed to set up for the reception.

However, after meeting with the church minister,  Mom called me to tell me she talked to Courtyard and cleared up some more things from them. Basically told me that if we pay the $2K we had originally budgeted for — she would take care of the rest.

I was a bit hesitant here, because I in my head, I was committed to the church and was pretty much ready for this entire problem to just be solved. Turns out, with her income tax money coming in next week along with a settlement from a car accident last November (that was forgotten about with the holidays and all the wedding stuff) coming in next week as well, she’ll have enough to cover the rest of Courtyard’s fees.

After making absolute sure that she didn’t need this money for herself — cause I know she struggles financially and is still bouncing back from lack of jobs for most of last year — she explained that she wouldn’t be offering this if she couldn’t do it. There were some more tears as she explained that it is my wedding, and we could have it where ever I wanted, but that she didn’t want to spend the two hours before the ceremony decorating the church reception hall — she wanted to be able to spend it in the bridal room with me adjusting my veil and what not.

Ted was still hesitant to go back to Courtyard, because he still saw the financial benefits of keeping it at the church. Of course, being a guy, he’s not too concerned with the set-up times and the mom-in-the-bridal-room or the fact that invites had already been sent out.

Tired of being caught between the two people I love most, I told Ted to call my mom and talk to her. Whatever they decided would be fine with me, I just didn’t want to be stuck in the middle.

They talked.

It’ll be at Courtyard.

I can now be excited that my wedding is only 18 days away.

Oh…bridal shower on Saturday was fun. Mom bought me a stripper…

*ahem*

Yea. So there was that.

I am currently waiting for yet another response from Courtyard in regards to our contract. It’s pretty clear that the contract I have is different from what their policies truly are. Most likely, I don’t have the full contract — which would explain 99% of the confusion and miscommunication.

Once I get the full contract, I will discover one of two possible things and what I discover will lead to one of two possible solutions.

Discovery A: We can back out, at a loss of $750.

Solution A: We hold the wedding at Ted’s church. This is a bit tricky in that if the event prior to ours does not allow us to set up the night before and keep things pushed against the wall (it’s a kid’s party) or in a separate room, then we may have to push the ceremony back an hour to give us more time to set up. If we are allowed to set up the night before, we rely heavily on family and friends (read: wedding party)  to help us set up. This is the solution we are hoping for. This solution allows us to have our ceremony, reception and leave us money to pay off bills so we’re not living on ramen for the next three or four months. So..pray for this for us.

Discovery B: We cannot back out of our contract to Courtyard. We have to have our event there.

Solution B: We go into debt. Enjoy our wedding, but know in the back of our minds we are in debt, so we’re not enjoying or day as much as we should. But figure it out.

I should know by tonight which solution we’re going with.

The biggest drawback to Solution A (aside from possible time crunch) is that we now have to find a caterer (which isn’t that hard, really) and my mom hating the grand hall at the church and not wanting to be a part of the wedding.

While I’m 98% sure she said all of that in anger, it’s still not something I want or need to worry about this close to the wedding.

In happier news….

…my bridal shower is Saturday.

Countdown: 23 days

For the sake of allowing me to vent, let’s pretend that none of you know.

What many of you do know is that I’m getting married.  For those of you that are married, you understand the nervous stress and excitement that kicks in during this last month before the big day.

Let’s multiply the stress by 5, since I am enrolled in 5 classes. Let’s multiply that number by 2, since each of my classes has huge-very-important-if-I-fail-this-I-fail-the-course type of projects.

Now subtract half of the excitement, because with everything going on at school, I don’t have a lot of time to feel very excited all the time.

So where are we? Lots of stress, minimal excitement.

End of Jan, approx 40 days before the wedding, I get a call from the Courtyard Villa (which is where we’ve chosen to have our ceremony/reception). They’re telling me I am way behind on my rental facility deposit of $1750, and that it was due May 2009.

1. If it was due since May 2009, why are you waiting til Jan. 2010 to tell me this?

2. How am I even past due since May 2009, when I did not book the venue until August 2009?

3. What is this rental facility deposit?

4. How is this different from the initial deposit of $750 (to secure the date and venue)?

5. WHY WAS I NOT EVEN TOLD ABOUT THIS BEFORE?

Basically, they tell me that the “rental deposit” ($1750) secures the venue. The “security deposit” ($750) secures the date. NONE of this was mentioned to be back in August, nor communicated to me since then. None of this is mentioned in the plethora of paperwork I have from them.

Ignoring that, let’s move on to problem number 2.

My contract for Courtyard Villa — the printed piece of paper that is lying next to my computer, beneath my calculator — says our grand total for the venue and food = $4,848.93

Not too bad as far as wedding places and catering goes. One of the big reasons they were chosen (the other was their understanding and flexible nature, but we’ll get to that) was this under $5K price.

Subtracted from that total is the deposit of $750 we made — which they allowed us to pay in payments, because they’re so genuine and understanding and flexible what that sort of thing — the grand total is now $4,098.93

All this is due: March 1st.

Cool. Got it. We’ll budget to have the rest in by then.

After getting a call about this mystery rental deposit, I tell them that although I had not heard about that deposit, if it goes to my remaining balance, I can bring $1700 in mid-Feb. when my income tax money arrives. And they seem fine with it.

Four days ago (28 days before the wedding), my wonderful fiance goes to the Courtyard Villa to drop of a check for $1700. Before he does, the smart man that he is, he follows his spidey senses — which are tingling at full alert — he asks them what our remaining balance is.

*drumroll*

Our remaining balance is: $5,200

Excuse me?

Where did we go from owing $4K to owing $5K?

Fiance leaves (without paying), saying there was some confusion and he wants to clear it up with me before we pay anything else.

Meanwhile, I am at school, having a really great day because I did well on a part of a project, passed a French exam and got the internship for the GP Airhogs I wanted. Oh, and giddy, because it’s the wedding is finally “under a month” away.

I get home and get the news: Courtyard is charging us $5K, not $4K. $4K was already stretching our meager budget tightly — especially when you factor in the $500 still owed to the florist and the $350 owed to the minister (because military chaplains suddenly do not do weddings, and we now have to pay someone to marry us — but that’s a different story and one I’ve put behind me).

Bottom line is, we can’t do the Courtyard. We have to find a new place.

At this news, my heart plummets, tears well in my eyes and stamp off into the bathroom shouting something about calling the whole thing off, and it’s too late to change  cause I’VE ALREADY SENT OUT THE INVITATIONS.

Twenty minutes later, fiance approaches me (see, told you he was smart) and tells me that he’s done research all afternoon and wants to take me to his parent’s church (we looked at this before, but it was too expensive), because he spoke to them and they’re offering him a discount since he is technically a member (we did not know this before; why don’t places give you ALL the information?).

So we go look at it, after waiting on my mother who happens to be off this day due to a doctors appointment. Cool.

We go look.

The chapel area is beautiful. More beautiful, in fact, than Courtyard Villa’s chapel area. Stained glass windows, a long hallway, huge bridal room…

Then we go look at the area the church uses for receptions. For all intents and purposes, this ‘ballroom’ is a gymnasium. It’s carpeted and primarily used for large social gatherings other organizations have and as a kid’s activities center. It’s no where near as beautiful as the Courtyard’s reception hall, but then again, the Courtyard was built to be a wedding venue, where as this church hall was not.

Still, I don’t think it’s too bad, and at this point I really just want to know that we have a place to get married. And they’re offering all of this for $750. So that definitely fits our budget, leaving room to now hire a caterer (which, after pricing, run about $1K…so for the price of Courtyard’s “rental facility deposit”, we get our entire wedding covered).

But of course, we are still pricing around. However, many places have one price listed for special events and a separate price listed for weddings. Cause you know, there’s more money in weddings, and people are willing to pay.

Last night, I’m pretty much set in finding a caterer and moving the ceremony to the church. In the end, I’m not going to remember that we had our wedding in a church gym. I’m going to remember all the BS we had to overcome just to get married and while yes, it was not a beautiful, state-of-the-art wedding venue, it was still beautiful because it’s a celebration of our love and we’re sharing it with friends and family.

Last night, my mother calls me. (let it be known that she’d been calling/emailing/texting all day, knowing that Tuesdays, I am in school til 5pm)

“Have you decided on anything yet?”

“No, I told you. I’ve been at school all day. There’s nothing I can do at 8pm. When I know, you will know.”

“Well, if you have it in the church, I think that’s ugly and tacky. If you decide to have it there it’s your wedding, but if it’s there I’m not going.”

There was more to that conversation, but that’s really all I heard from her.

Really, Mom?

Because I don’t have enough shit on my plate that you have to tell me that if I find this way to make my wedding WORK you’re not going to go because it’s not pretty enough for you?

Shortly after, I went to bed in tears.

My mom is supposed to give me away at my wedding, not tell me she is not going 25 days prior.

I couldn’t sleep. I went to bed around 3:30am.

Decided to skip classes this morning and figure some stuff out.

Emailed Courtyard Villa. Told them the prices I have on my printed copy and that if they’re going to continue to raise the price and not say anything as well as suddenly not be as understanding of our situation as they were when they wanted our initial deposit, we’ll take our business elsewhere, despite that it means a loss of $750.

Applied for a loan. Was denied. Maybe it’ll be approved if fiance co-signs, but  I doubt it. We both have enough loans out due to school.

Waiting for Courtyard to contact me. If the price remains $4,098.93, we’ll stay there. If it’s more than that by even a dime, we’ll have it at the church.

If that means I’m walking myself down the aisle, then so be it.

In the end, I’m doing what I have to do to have my wedding and share it with the people I care most about in this world. If Mom does not want to be a part of her only daughter’s wedding because the places is “ugly”, she’ll regret missing the day more than I will regret having to change venues.

Current Math Stats:

Stress = Too high to count.
Excitement = Low. Very low.

And that’s the Great Wedding Debacle.

If you’re in the DFW area (or know the area/know someone in the area), and you know of a reasonably priced caterer/venue…please let me know.

Countdown: 24 days til wedding.

After writing more than 60K words in a 30 day period (that fell just before finals week and in the midst of holiday knitting), I told myself I would take a break from the novel during December and revisit it for revision and heavy editing in January.

Well, it’s an hour away from February 1, and I haven’t even opened the file.

My goal for February is to revise and edit the first third of the novel. I have the ideas swimming in my head, I just haven’t been very good at sitting down and adding them to the store.

..maybe this signifies that I need to hang out with writing friends more. I need to find a writing group maybe. Something to keep me motivated and focused.

Also, I think I’m going to get a book with writing prompts. If I can try to write something every day, no matter how short it may be, maybe I can get more of a writing mindset.

I used to write everyday. If I wasn’t writing for me, I was writing for an RPG (oh yes, I did RPGs, and I freaking loved them…but alas, they all died). I wish I knew what happened that made me stop all of a sudden.

February Goals (Got this idea from Cid’s latest blog post)

Writing Goals:

• Write something everyday.
• Revise/Edit first third of “Tangled Dreams”

Crafting Goals:

• Dye a skein of yarn each week.
• Knit a small project each week.
• Finish fingerless gloves.
• Make lots of soap.
• Finish KrisKnits Jan. KAL
• Add something to YP store each week.

Wedding Goals:

• Finish downloading music for reception.
• Organize music list/special dances.
• Order cake topper.
• Finish paying florist.
• Finish paying minister.
• Finish paying venue.
• Go to Mom’s house one weekend and finish wedding favors.

Social Goals (cause I need to get out more):

• Go to Sunday afternoon knitting group every week.
• Find a writing group.
• Start extra knitting night with Jen, Candace and anyone else who wants to join.

Academic Goals:

• Just keep up with the reading/notes/homework.

A few days ago, I created an amazingly beautiful colorway. I had a “Valentine’s Day” theme in mind, and I could not be more pleased with the results.

I used Plymouth Yarn’s “Dye for Me – Happy Feet”. It’s 480yds of sock-weight yarn consisting of 90% super-wash merino wool and 10% nylon. Bought it from a great little website: Got Yarn?

I dyed this skein with Wilton’s food coloring, and the results are gorgeous.

“Candy Hearts”

Drying on the patio

Yarn Pr0n!

...love...

Be my valentine.

Candy Hearts

I’d love to hear what you think about my colorway, so please leave a comment!

I also ordered a table-top swift from The Knit Store. Great quality, and it works amazingly. I’m so glad I did not have to shell out $60 (or more) for a swift. All in all, I paid about $30 for my swift, S&H included.

Isn’t it pretty?

Oak table-top swift.

Since I’m having so much fun dying and hand-painting yarn, I bought more blank yarn and a starter acid dye kit from KnitPicks. I already have some yarn soaking and I’ll dye something new tonight…